♪ TWENTY QUESTIONS TO THE BEAT… (PART 2) ♪
(Or Earth Shattering R & B/Neo-Soul/Hip-Hop Music Queries)
1. Even with a style that is unusual and hard to categorize, is Nikki Minaj not larger than life? Can Nik eclipse Madonna’s career?
2. Who found Willow Smith annoying at first, yet now can’t help but “whip their hair” every time the radio plays her song for the 1000th time that day?
3. Aren’t we glad Ne-Yo, Dondria, Maxwell, Sade and Jill Scott have stayed away from Auto Tunes? Aren’t we disappointed that Usher, Mary J. Blige, Jamie Foxx, Chris Brown and other truly naturally talented artists have started using Auto Tunes?
4. How many women still dig Alicia Keys’ music, but won’t ever let her near their man/boyfriend/spouse?
5. Doesn’t it stink that Dead Prez is too controversial and profane for the radio?
6. Is Robin Thicke the new official “baby making music” artist?
7. How many of us knew Whitney was done for good when she told Diane Sawyer, “Crack is wack?”
8. Aren’t we digging the musicianship of Bobby Ray (a.k.a. B.O.B.) and don’t we “wish right now” that he would get more radio play?
9. Isn’t Lupe’s battle with Atlantic records, reminiscent of Prince and his showdown with Warner Bros., which is textbook, “fight the power!”?
10. By a show of hands, how many of us no matter where we are, “put our hands up,” when we hear “All I Do Is Win”?
11. Aren’t we digging Janelle Monáe, but dying to know how in the hell she gets her hair to stay in place while performing those wicked dance moves?
12. Don’t we miss when music videos sorta had a plot? Do we ever think there will be a day when booty-shaking, breast-popping, and straight-up denigrating videos will be passé, outlawed and simply fade away?
13. By a show of hands, how many of us knew that Jermaine Dupri was out of his league with Janet Jackson?
14. Should Lauryn Hill join Whitney on the “never will be, again” bench?
15. Wouldn’t you want the Roots to play the funkiest concert at your funeral if you could afford them?
16. John Legend: straight, homosexual or bi-sexual (come on, y’all KNOW you been wanting to ask this one!)?
17. Has Beyoncé truly paid dues and earned the right to be mentioned in the same breath as Patti LaBelle, Chaka Khan, Teena Marie, Tina Turner and Diana Ross?
18. Biggie or Tupac?
19. Still in shock, mourning, or denial over Michael Jackson?
20. Isn’t Sean Combs gift to his son Justin on his 16th birthday (a $360,000 Maybach with a chauffeur) a smack in the face to those of us who actually work for a living?
Bonus: remember when an artist would do a complete project by themselves instead of having one, two, three or even four additionally artists on almost every single track?
26 December 2010
17 December 2010
♪ TWENTY QUESTIONS , TO THE BEAT… (PART 1) ♪
(Or Trivial, Yet True, Non-Earth Shattering R & B/Neo-Soul/Hip-Hop Music Queries)
These are semi-rhetorical questions that may or may not have crossed your mind:
1. Will there ever be another Luther Vandross?
2. Don’t Fantasia and Kanye remind us of the relatives we do NOT allow to be the spokesperson when the police show up?
3. Don’t Fantasia and Kanye remind us of the relatives who are the reason that the police show up in the first place?
4. By a show of hands, who thinks the following artists to STOP having children out of wedlock: El DeBarge (12), Flava Flav (12), Erykah Bady (4), Bobby Brown (5), Lauryn Hill (5), Lil Wayne (4) and Sean Combs (5.5)?
5. How many of us love the following groups/artists but know that they are “done” and should call it a day: EnVogue, Tony, Toni, Tone, Dru Hill, Anita Baker and Outkast (the latter as a group, not individual artists)?
6. Aren’t we digging R. Kelly’s comeback, but still would not let him anywhere near our teenage daughter, niece, granddaughter, etc.?
7. Will there ever be another Minnie Ripperton (and no, it’s not Mariah)?
8. How likely is it that Minnie is spinning in her grave over the fact that Kandi of the RHA has deemed herself a singer?
9. Should somebody tell Chrisette Michelle that starting a beef with a rapper who has a criminal record, is bad for your health (especially over bullshit)? Or how many of us think it’s a publicity stunt for her new CD?
10. Should someone tell Charlie Wilson that at his age, he can “fall in love,” but dammit he’s just too old to “have some babies?” (Re: lyrics to “There Goes My Baby”)
11. Aren’t we digging the genius of Prince, still going strong at 50+ years, and humble enough to other brilliant artists at his concert series, but a little disturbed that he still uses the word “funky,” which takes on a whole other meaning at his age?
12. Will we be mortified if at any time during the concert series Prince wears the pants with the hind parts cut out?
13. How many of us won money on how Usher’s marriage would turn out? And who thinks Chili is sitting back, arms folded, saying, “I told his ass…”?
14. How many of us are not mad at Tameka Foster for taking the opportunity to “get hers” and get out?
15. Isn’t Melanie Fiona’s “It Kills Me,” and Jazmine Sullivan, “Bust All Your Windows” the best female heartbreak songs of the year and the cuts to play repeatedly after a breakup?
16. Aren’t we glad El DeBarge got a Second Chance?
17. (Regional NYC question) Will there ever be another Frankie Crocker?
18. Aren’t we digging the recent mainstream popularity of Doug E. Fresh and marveling in “non-hip-hopper’s” fascination with learning how to “Dougie”?
19. Should there be a Classic/Sacred R & B Music Remake/Sample Permission hotline for artists and should calls be blocked from Sean Combs, Mary J. Blige and any artist who has not paid dues?
20. Are we more surprised or more disappointed in T.I. & Tiny?
(Or Trivial, Yet True, Non-Earth Shattering R & B/Neo-Soul/Hip-Hop Music Queries)
These are semi-rhetorical questions that may or may not have crossed your mind:
1. Will there ever be another Luther Vandross?
2. Don’t Fantasia and Kanye remind us of the relatives we do NOT allow to be the spokesperson when the police show up?
3. Don’t Fantasia and Kanye remind us of the relatives who are the reason that the police show up in the first place?
4. By a show of hands, who thinks the following artists to STOP having children out of wedlock: El DeBarge (12), Flava Flav (12), Erykah Bady (4), Bobby Brown (5), Lauryn Hill (5), Lil Wayne (4) and Sean Combs (5.5)?
5. How many of us love the following groups/artists but know that they are “done” and should call it a day: EnVogue, Tony, Toni, Tone, Dru Hill, Anita Baker and Outkast (the latter as a group, not individual artists)?
6. Aren’t we digging R. Kelly’s comeback, but still would not let him anywhere near our teenage daughter, niece, granddaughter, etc.?
7. Will there ever be another Minnie Ripperton (and no, it’s not Mariah)?
8. How likely is it that Minnie is spinning in her grave over the fact that Kandi of the RHA has deemed herself a singer?
9. Should somebody tell Chrisette Michelle that starting a beef with a rapper who has a criminal record, is bad for your health (especially over bullshit)? Or how many of us think it’s a publicity stunt for her new CD?
10. Should someone tell Charlie Wilson that at his age, he can “fall in love,” but dammit he’s just too old to “have some babies?” (Re: lyrics to “There Goes My Baby”)
11. Aren’t we digging the genius of Prince, still going strong at 50+ years, and humble enough to other brilliant artists at his concert series, but a little disturbed that he still uses the word “funky,” which takes on a whole other meaning at his age?
12. Will we be mortified if at any time during the concert series Prince wears the pants with the hind parts cut out?
13. How many of us won money on how Usher’s marriage would turn out? And who thinks Chili is sitting back, arms folded, saying, “I told his ass…”?
14. How many of us are not mad at Tameka Foster for taking the opportunity to “get hers” and get out?
15. Isn’t Melanie Fiona’s “It Kills Me,” and Jazmine Sullivan, “Bust All Your Windows” the best female heartbreak songs of the year and the cuts to play repeatedly after a breakup?
16. Aren’t we glad El DeBarge got a Second Chance?
17. (Regional NYC question) Will there ever be another Frankie Crocker?
18. Aren’t we digging the recent mainstream popularity of Doug E. Fresh and marveling in “non-hip-hopper’s” fascination with learning how to “Dougie”?
19. Should there be a Classic/Sacred R & B Music Remake/Sample Permission hotline for artists and should calls be blocked from Sean Combs, Mary J. Blige and any artist who has not paid dues?
20. Are we more surprised or more disappointed in T.I. & Tiny?
15 December 2010
AND THE POINT WOULD BE…?
(Or Is It Just Me?)
Did a charter for a party the other night that left me quite sad about the state of human relations. Now I gotta do the public service announcement: rich people, in my experience are inconsiderate and a pain in the ass—most of the time, but not all of the time. If my opinion equates to “hate,” jealousy, etc., so be it.
So some rich cat paid about 4 large to have some five buses take his party guests from a rally point to his “mcmansion” and then back again at the end of the party (I know this dude don’t have no roaches; even the help went to Harvard, okay?). He also had an Escalade for good measure, which a few guests thought was their own personal free taxi at the end of the night.
The guests did not seem all that enthused with this dude, but seemed somehow obligated to attend this shing-dig. I got the impression they were either co-workers, fellow parents whose children attend an elite area school, members of a board, etc.—never seen so many sour pusses going to a party. They even had the gall to bitch about the “free ride” the host was giving them—“Do we have to go this way?” “It’s too hot on this bus.” “How long before we are leaving? (even there were only two people on the bus!)” “You all will be back to get us at the end of the night, right?” (really wanted to respond to the latter, “Hell no. Walk your happy ass back here…”)
But all of this (plus the lack of tip) was not what disgusted me the most: it was the host’s attitude towards his guests. Not only was it disheartening, it was by definition both disgusting and downright ugly. The party started at 7. At 10:40, he is pushing his guests towards the door. “You don’t have to go home, but you got to the hell out of here,” was his attitude. Damn. Let me say that again: Damn. I mean is it really a party when you watching the clock and telling folk to “get the fuck out?” four hours later?
Here’s how I picture a party—at least 60 or 70 of my friends and family coming over to the crib, getting their grub on, drinking as much as they can without becoming ignorant, playing games, dancing, watching television and of course, serving up the Spades ass whippings (bring your A game or go the hell home. Next!). Arrive as early as you want to the day of the party, but please understand that I won’t be dressed til ‘round 8pm. Bring a bottle or a dish; if opt for the latter, your ass better be able to cook, dammit, or we will talk about you.
Stay as long as you want. Really, I mean it. Crash on the couch, fix a pallet on the floor, put two folding chairs together—shit, I don’t care. No one leaves Casa de Clark too drunk or sleepy (just as bad) to drive. Period. Not on my watch. Besides, its kinda cool watching folks leave after a night of straight up house party boogying. Plus the look on my neighbors’ face the next morning is usually priceless (yes, I’m a good neighbor, but hate Homeowners Associations—they are the devil!).
Sure one has to have some limits during a party and guest should not be allowed to trounce through every corner of your house. But a gathering that is soooo binding—like the one I drove for the other night is better suited for a clubhouse, restaurant or banquet hall. To me, an invitation into your home should be just that, an invitation. Not a directorate with a litany of do’s, don’ts and “you better nots.” That’s not showing hospitality—that’s just bullshit.
Axe.
(Or Is It Just Me?)
Did a charter for a party the other night that left me quite sad about the state of human relations. Now I gotta do the public service announcement: rich people, in my experience are inconsiderate and a pain in the ass—most of the time, but not all of the time. If my opinion equates to “hate,” jealousy, etc., so be it.
So some rich cat paid about 4 large to have some five buses take his party guests from a rally point to his “mcmansion” and then back again at the end of the party (I know this dude don’t have no roaches; even the help went to Harvard, okay?). He also had an Escalade for good measure, which a few guests thought was their own personal free taxi at the end of the night.
The guests did not seem all that enthused with this dude, but seemed somehow obligated to attend this shing-dig. I got the impression they were either co-workers, fellow parents whose children attend an elite area school, members of a board, etc.—never seen so many sour pusses going to a party. They even had the gall to bitch about the “free ride” the host was giving them—“Do we have to go this way?” “It’s too hot on this bus.” “How long before we are leaving? (even there were only two people on the bus!)” “You all will be back to get us at the end of the night, right?” (really wanted to respond to the latter, “Hell no. Walk your happy ass back here…”)
But all of this (plus the lack of tip) was not what disgusted me the most: it was the host’s attitude towards his guests. Not only was it disheartening, it was by definition both disgusting and downright ugly. The party started at 7. At 10:40, he is pushing his guests towards the door. “You don’t have to go home, but you got to the hell out of here,” was his attitude. Damn. Let me say that again: Damn. I mean is it really a party when you watching the clock and telling folk to “get the fuck out?” four hours later?
Here’s how I picture a party—at least 60 or 70 of my friends and family coming over to the crib, getting their grub on, drinking as much as they can without becoming ignorant, playing games, dancing, watching television and of course, serving up the Spades ass whippings (bring your A game or go the hell home. Next!). Arrive as early as you want to the day of the party, but please understand that I won’t be dressed til ‘round 8pm. Bring a bottle or a dish; if opt for the latter, your ass better be able to cook, dammit, or we will talk about you.
Stay as long as you want. Really, I mean it. Crash on the couch, fix a pallet on the floor, put two folding chairs together—shit, I don’t care. No one leaves Casa de Clark too drunk or sleepy (just as bad) to drive. Period. Not on my watch. Besides, its kinda cool watching folks leave after a night of straight up house party boogying. Plus the look on my neighbors’ face the next morning is usually priceless (yes, I’m a good neighbor, but hate Homeowners Associations—they are the devil!).
Sure one has to have some limits during a party and guest should not be allowed to trounce through every corner of your house. But a gathering that is soooo binding—like the one I drove for the other night is better suited for a clubhouse, restaurant or banquet hall. To me, an invitation into your home should be just that, an invitation. Not a directorate with a litany of do’s, don’ts and “you better nots.” That’s not showing hospitality—that’s just bullshit.
Axe.
03 December 2010
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
(Or, a quickie I wrote sitting @ McDonald's)
Been arguing for over 36 hours with a colleague regarding LeBron James. For the record, I think King James is very talented, a little spoiled, slightly selfish, but a gentleman otherwise. Furthermore, the way he left Cleveland pisses me off. It was almost like having a spouse telling you on national television, "We're getting a divorce." Not a good deal at all. The fans pay to see LeBron and others play. Fans support the team when things get rough. They make the stadium or arena loud when things look bad and the team is trying to rally to pull within single digits. Fans are the "6th Man." They are a member of the family, for crying out loud. Fans deserve respect. Now, how I feel about the money-grubbing asshole owners is a whole OTHER blog...
My colleague contends vehemently that LeBron "did what was right for him," and that he should "not pay attention to the fans because they are not the ones who have to put in all the work." And it is true that fans will turn on you in a heartbeat. Added to that, I would never advise someone to stay in a situation that is hurting them emotionally, physically, financially or anything of the like. But at the very least, at the end of last season, LJ should have made a statement to the fans and said the following, "I may be leaving you. It would hurt me as much as it would hurt you if I do. I LOVE YOU, but this is what's best for me. Please know that you have been wonderful; better to me than I have been to myself. Its not you, but it's me..." And so on, and so forth. Sure, fans still would have been pissed off, but right now they are beyond pisstivity. They would have to orbit the Earth 20 times to get to the point where pisstivity is in sight (for real, for real...). With my suggested statement, a precursor, if you will, to do damage control, time would have eventually healed that wound. But because LeBron ripped the fans' hearts out, threw it on the ground, stomped on it, and spit on it on national television, he and Cleveland will probably never "kiss and make up." EVER.
So, to the fans, I say, "Move on." Treat LeBron like that man who dumped you even though he knows without a shadow of a doubt that you were the best thing that ever happened to him: lose his number and if he calls you, don't answer the damn phone! When LeBron showed up at Cleveland's stadium last night, all he shoulda heard was crickets. The (ex-)fans should have stayed home to show him that they don't give two shits about him. But by buying tickets, selling the stadium out, booing all night, and holding up signs dissing him, they showed just how crazy with hurt they are. And anyway, I thought the City of Cleveland was in such dire straits...? Somebody got money for some NBA tickets, though...
But I digress.
The fans are truly behaving like the deranged ex-lover who goes around slashing tires, pouring sugar in gas tanks, and making the other person miserable--that is, until somebody breaks out a restraining order. Bottom Line to the fans: support the team you have left with all y
our might. Make the current Cavaliers feel as if they are the only team in the world and you love them will all your heart. Be there for the losses, the wins, the ups, downs, injuries, etc. Act like LeBron never existed.
Now, if, if, I say again, "if" LeBron ever decides he "needs to talk...," the city and the fans should be dignified, classy, and the bigger person--make his ass get on his hands and knees and beg!
Axe.
(Or, a quickie I wrote sitting @ McDonald's)
Been arguing for over 36 hours with a colleague regarding LeBron James. For the record, I think King James is very talented, a little spoiled, slightly selfish, but a gentleman otherwise. Furthermore, the way he left Cleveland pisses me off. It was almost like having a spouse telling you on national television, "We're getting a divorce." Not a good deal at all. The fans pay to see LeBron and others play. Fans support the team when things get rough. They make the stadium or arena loud when things look bad and the team is trying to rally to pull within single digits. Fans are the "6th Man." They are a member of the family, for crying out loud. Fans deserve respect. Now, how I feel about the money-grubbing asshole owners is a whole OTHER blog...
My colleague contends vehemently that LeBron "did what was right for him," and that he should "not pay attention to the fans because they are not the ones who have to put in all the work." And it is true that fans will turn on you in a heartbeat. Added to that, I would never advise someone to stay in a situation that is hurting them emotionally, physically, financially or anything of the like. But at the very least, at the end of last season, LJ should have made a statement to the fans and said the following, "I may be leaving you. It would hurt me as much as it would hurt you if I do. I LOVE YOU, but this is what's best for me. Please know that you have been wonderful; better to me than I have been to myself. Its not you, but it's me..." And so on, and so forth. Sure, fans still would have been pissed off, but right now they are beyond pisstivity. They would have to orbit the Earth 20 times to get to the point where pisstivity is in sight (for real, for real...). With my suggested statement, a precursor, if you will, to do damage control, time would have eventually healed that wound. But because LeBron ripped the fans' hearts out, threw it on the ground, stomped on it, and spit on it on national television, he and Cleveland will probably never "kiss and make up." EVER.
So, to the fans, I say, "Move on." Treat LeBron like that man who dumped you even though he knows without a shadow of a doubt that you were the best thing that ever happened to him: lose his number and if he calls you, don't answer the damn phone! When LeBron showed up at Cleveland's stadium last night, all he shoulda heard was crickets. The (ex-)fans should have stayed home to show him that they don't give two shits about him. But by buying tickets, selling the stadium out, booing all night, and holding up signs dissing him, they showed just how crazy with hurt they are. And anyway, I thought the City of Cleveland was in such dire straits...? Somebody got money for some NBA tickets, though...
But I digress.
The fans are truly behaving like the deranged ex-lover who goes around slashing tires, pouring sugar in gas tanks, and making the other person miserable--that is, until somebody breaks out a restraining order. Bottom Line to the fans: support the team you have left with all y
our might. Make the current Cavaliers feel as if they are the only team in the world and you love them will all your heart. Be there for the losses, the wins, the ups, downs, injuries, etc. Act like LeBron never existed.Now, if, if, I say again, "if" LeBron ever decides he "needs to talk...," the city and the fans should be dignified, classy, and the bigger person--make his ass get on his hands and knees and beg!
Axe.
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