STRIKES, FOUL BALLS AND ALL THAT GOOD SHIT

Note on this Note: if you are easily offended by profanity, this may not be the Note for you…

A Woman should never be like a bus—ridden by anyone, anywhere, anytime. And a Man should not be like an interchange, housing so many buses. No one wants to walk into a relationship with everyone having slept with your partner… ~ Mike Nab

This quote is written by a fellow alum about 7 years younger than I and wise beyond his years. And it gives me major cause to pause for two reasons. First, Mike’s right. Nobody wants to get all comfy and cozy with a person and then discover that said person has been intimate with any of your friends. Even a friend of a friend is hard to swallow. I have always avowed I am “a stingy bitch who refuses to share my m & m’s or my man…”

The second and last long pause is caused by the undeniable double standard. While Mike neither stated, nor implied that women are held to a higher moral standard, we are. No getting around that. And it’s been like that for a minute. Ironically, I recently came across an old clip from the film, Bingo Long All-Stars… The semi-fictional account of Negro baseball in the 1940s was made in 1974. In an opening exchange between superstar pitcher Bingo Long (phine-ass Billy December Williams) and his on the field nemesis, Leon Carter, the two men discover that they have something (or someone) in common.

Leon: I heard you done taken up with a hot number by the name of Violet.
Bingo: You heard right. Wait til you lay eyes on her.
Leon: Well if you are talking about Violet Graham (shoots Bingo a knowing glance sideways), I done laid more than eyes on her already.

Bingo tries to shake off the fact that his new found “jewel” has been screwing Leon. But it’s evident that Leon “gets Bingo’s dander up.” Prior to this exchange, it’s two strikes, and no balls. Yet instead of striking Leon out, Bingo goes off the mark. Carter, played by James Earl Jones, who was incredibly fine back in the day, hits a home run—out of the park, no less. Bingo half smiles tilts his head to the side and mumbles to himself that he was, “tired of Violet anyhow.”

Fast-forward to that evening when Violet greets Bingo at the local watering hole. She is ready to dance, dine, etc. (stress on the “etc.”) with Bingo. But Bingo stiffens and ever-so-smoothly takes a half a step back, advising Violet that she has “let him down.” Translation: Um, I had no idea you had fucked Leon.

It’s definitely a given that Violet had been intimate with Leon, probably in the very recent past, but she is not currently sleeping with him. So really, Bingo should have been willing to let what was past, “be past.” Furthermore, it usually takes one or two major infractions for a person to call it quits in a relationship; two people ordinarily have been going together for a while to actually make those miss-steps. Violet committed this offense, as it were, before she and Bingo got together. Ergo, it’s a “non-issue” because she anything or anybody she “did” before him, is none of his business. Yet, she doesn’t even have a chance to step up to the plate and take a full swing before he counts her out—damn!

Still, this brings me back to Mike’s statement. It’s disheartening to find out that your new boyfriend, or girlfriend has had a lot of partners, especially when those partners may travel in the same circles, or within spitting distance, of the ones that you do. Not only does it take the “fresh” feeling out of the relationship (shit, somebody else has in fact played with your new toy!), there’s the feeling that perhaps, you are now in possession damaged goods. Sure, you knew this person is not a virgin, but the fact that somebody else knows what you now know—or about to know, if you haven’t yet “done the do,” can put a damper on things. It makes you question if you want to continue to get to know that person on other levels because in fact, someone else already knows those levels. Someone else may know that story about how he really wanted to be a police officer because his Uncle was one. Or, that he went alone to the prom and watched the girl of his dreams (at the time) dance the night away with the captain of the football team. Or that he loves scary movies but the sight of Tinker Bell traumatizes him. Or the hopes and dreams he has for his firstborn. Or, that for him why it really is about making love and not just sex.

Most, but not all men are concerned with a woman being spotless. While women do have standards, in general, we are not overly concerned with who our current beau has been with—unless of course, it was another man (and that’s a whole other blog!). And of course we do get jealous if the former girlfriend is not totally out of the picture (Note to the Fellas: if she’s gone, let her STAY gone; don’t resurrect her number when your current lady won’t give you any or you get angry with her. Not a cool move at all). Violet was going to cuddle up with Bingo, although she has to know that as a ball player, he is going from town to town and has more moves than an overloaded and unbalanced washing machine; or maybe not. Yet, she is willing to take that chance.

Still, a new friend said something profound today about women and our choices. “This is why it is important to choose the right partner so that when we give energy to a man, he is also giving it back to us…like a plug and an outlet. ~ Nichelle Ryan (thanks, Lady!)


Axe.

WHERE’S THE FOUR?
(Or Why Isn’t Anyone Standing In The Gap for Kelley Williams Bolar?)

As I write this blog, I pause to think about the significance of tomorrow: February 1st. This date is more affectionately known as “February One,” on the campus of North Carolina A & T State University, an HBCU in Greensboro, NC. Usually a cold dreary day, it has had a warm place in my heart ever since I set foot on “Aggie Land,” back in 1995. I spent 4 of the best years of my life there and in addition to earning my degree, I learned about the “Greensboro Four.”

On February 1st, 1960, Joseph McNeil, Franklin McCain, Ezell Blair Jr. and David Richmond walked downtown to Woolworth’s, peacefully sat at the counter and asked to be served coffee. They waited all afternoon for service yet did not receive it. The next day, they returned, bringing more students. Soon sit-in protests were being held all over town and in nearby cities like Winston-Salem and Raleigh. This non-violent challenge continued until July 25, 1960, when the five & dime relented, serving its black employees at the counter first. The next day, Woolworth’s desegregated their counters nationwide.

Fast forward to January 2011; Kelley Williams-Bolar is found guilty of taking the law into her own hands. She did not commit murder, assault anyone, or rob a bank. Fed up with the school system where her family lives, she lied about her residency and enrolled her two daughters in the “less brown” township of Copley, where her father lives. At trial, the school deemed that Williams-Bolar should repay “$30,000 for the cost of educating her children. By the way, Copley officials spent $6,000 to investigate when they suspected the girls were attending school outside of their zone. Williams-Bolar refused to pay. She was thereby sentenced to 10 days in jail, three years’ probation and may lose her current job as a teacher’s aide. The single parent is just 12 credit hours shy of becoming a school teacher, but now is a convicted felon.

For crying out loud, where THE hell is Jessie Jackson? Al Sharpton? Oprah Winfrey? Michael Jordan (true—you leapt through the air for millions during the 90’s and was America’s boy-next-door. You have now, however, decidedly grown into a definition ass, but you are a parent, too)? Will Barbara Walters interview her? Will Bono sing a song in Williams-Bolar’s honor? Why hasn’t Brad Pitt, George Clooney or any other celebrities who have asked for an audience with the President about injustices abroad rang the bell at 1600 Pennsylvania on her behalf? Sarah Palin? Surely Kelly’s actions are a maverick move you have to respect… How about any of the potential Presidential candidates for the ‘12 election? I mean, damn, education is a Top Ten issue during a political race. Nobody; not a damn soul of national or international prominence has said, “a word nor a syllable” on this woman’s behalf. Pathetic; simply pathetic.

Why is everyone running scared from this one? Probably because a lot more people than we think do what Williams did—break the law in one form or another, to achieve, “a greater good.” This probably causes a fear of receiving the same scrutiny and the same results—jail. Shit, if Dr. King, Rev. Abernathy, etc. had been afraid of jail, there is no telling where we would be right now. Plus, in the wake of the uprisings in Egypt, and the start of Black history month, I think Americans need to recognize they’ve taken on a lazy, self-centered and inexcusable state of contentment. Bottom line, US citizens are settling for the “okie-doke” and not exercising their right to speak up when something is wrong.

Yes, Williams-Bolar broke the law. But this law kept her children locked into what she perceived “a dangerous environment” and force fed them a second class education. Her stance goes beyond a mere cry of “it’s not fair.” Every child in the United States is supposedly granted the right to an equal education. But we all know that this does not happen. The truth is that many US children receive a shitty education. By putting her children in another school, Williams-Bolar was simply acquiring what is guaranteed her under the law. Furthermore, why is it a crime to do such a thing? True, if no rule was in place, parents would do whatever they wanted, leaving the potential for grand pandemonium. School districts are there to maintain order.

Still, wouldn’t it be cool if kids got an equal education under the law? But they don’t. Wouldn’t it be cool if the parent, who has to work way across town, could put their kid in a school near their job so they wouldn’t miss the PTA meetings, could have lunch with their kid every so often, or attend parent-teacher conferences without feeling rushed? But they can’t. And wouldn’t it be really cool if we could stop being so uptight about this shit and work together on it? But we won’t.

The Sit-in Movements of the 1960’s worked because somebody did something. Somebody took that first step. On February One, four gentlemen took a step. Kelley Williams Bolar took a step and stands alone…or does she?

THAT’S ALL YOU GOT…?

Really gotta kill the addiction to the idiot box. Seriously. I was hooked to two shows: “The Closer,” and “Southland.” Then I saw Kathy Bates’ performance in the pilot of “Harry’s Law.” The NBC mid-season replacement might have a life. Maybe. A 60-minute law drama, it details Harriet “Harry” Korn’s departure from a law firm where she made $600Gs as a copyright lawyer and decides to open up shop in a “bad” part of Cincinnati. Instead of lying and pissing off rich clients, she is talking straight shit to ‘hood clients. I dig this show, but I’m concerned…

With only a few episodes aired, NBC and David Kelley (creator) are giving me the feeling they plan to theoretically “take me out for coffee” twice in a row and maybe even again, if I allow it. But I ain’t having it. This week’s episode felt like a repeat of the first, only with a little twist in the plot and the addition of 5 (possibly recurring?) characters. Still, now that we have made all the “introductions,” “gotten to know each other better,” etc., I’m looking for something more before I commit.




First, I am sick of seeing the same type of black people: angry, poor, ignorant and “looking for help.” Yes, times are hard and people of ALL colors are hurting. I appreciate the spotlight because frankly, I don’t think mainstream America truly understands that when they bleed, the poor, disenfranchised people of color are hemorrhaging. Still, I want to know from Kelly, with regards to his characters of color on this show, “is that all you got?”

My concern is personified by one of the new additions, Anna Nicholson, played by Irma P. Hall. You know, Mother Joe, from Soul Food, and The Ladykillers. Yes, that Irma. Her portrayal of an impoverished woman who committed armed robbery “to eat,” was clearly beneath her skills; Hall a former language teacher, poet and an accomplished actress, plays a cranky, toothless senior citizen. While I truly understand that her character is supposed to be poor, I was disheartened at the sight of her. Her pretty white dentures were absent and in their place were a few teeth, huddling for shade every time Hall spoke. Her beautiful gray hair was pulled back into a seriously no-frills bun. Ms. Hall looked much like Minerva, the voo-doo priestess she played in Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil.

Nicholson barges into Harry’s law office verbally berating Bates’ character for moving in and “taking over the neighborhood.” Harry expeditiously dismisses Anna’s rants, going out of her way to show she is educated. As a person of color who happens to know what gentrification means, I find the response and use of the word to someone who clearly did not, a slap in the face. Furthermore, do people of color on television always have to be that ignorant? True, ignorant people exist in every shape, form and color. It just seems that the ones of color seem to get more air time, especially on the 6 o’clock news when they inarticulately relay, “what had happened was…”

Then there’s the magic tricks; two weeks straight, Harry pulls a rabbit out of a hat. In the pilot, the defendant was in fact guilty, yet the judge was so impressed with Harry’s antics, I mean argument he set aside the verdict and gives the kid probation (surprise, surprise…). This kid, who happens to be a college student with a “slight” cocaine addiction, now works as a paralegal at Harry’s Law (what a co-ink-e-dink…). This week, Harry wrangles a not guilty verdict for Anna. Harry, with her sly magic wand, moves Anna’s crime from focus and dwells on how unfair it is that Anna is left with no resources, even though she is a citizen—a senior citizen at that. How could the jury imprison an 80-year-old woman? So they didn’t. But that was luck. There are people out there committing less serious crimes, but who get time nonetheless; a few are even Anna’s age. And while Bates’ character does not make it look easy, she certainly does not break a sweat, either.

When Anna storms into Harry’s office, wrongly accusing one of the new, recurring characters of being the “manager,” she is spitting fire and venom. Once the record is set straight, she continues and it is all I can do to watch. True, African-Americans do have a lot to be angry about, despite having an African-American president in office. But do we always have to bust down doors, act nasty and make demands? I mean, damn, it’s not like we are still working the cotton fields—well work places are like plantations but that’s a whole other blog. We have reason to shout, but do not have to shout all the time and there is a place for it. This show ain’t it—at least not every week. I’ll accept that type of storyline maybe once every four weeks, but not every single episode. I’m looking for the creative plot lines from Picket Fences, Boston Public and L.A. Law.

Once Anna decides that she in fact wants Harry to defend her, she drops a rolled up dirty sock on her desk and advises there is $26.50 inside. “That’s all I got,” she adds. I hope that David Kelly is offering up more than coins in a rolled up dirty sock…