23 January 2013

TWENTY QUESTIONS TO THE BEAT Y'ALL... (PART 5)


1.      Pleasantly pleased, laughing your off ass off or disappointed with, “Real Husbands of Hollywood?”

2.   By a show of hands, who has Robin Thicke’s, “All Tied Up” or Kelly Rowland’s “Motivation” cued for Valentine’s Day?

3.  Who has the never-fail Luther tracks ready to seal the deal after playing Robin or Kelly?

4.   How many of us have already started warming up the Luther tracks because of the cold weather?

5.   By a show of hands how many of us, “know that we know, that we know, that we know,” that Al Green declining an invitation to sing, “Let’s Stay Together,” at the Inaugural Ball was not due to a, “scheduling conflict”  but because Al is on that Old School self-righteous bullshit about gay marriage?

6.   How many of us are pretty sure that Green will not receive another invite to the White House from President Barack Obama?

7.   By a show of hands, who was a bit confused when Myrlie Evers-Williams started the invocation because she did not say, “Bow your heads,” or, “Heavenly Father, we humbly come before you now…”?

8.   How many of us were nonetheless moved by the prayer?
(bonus) How many of us who were physically in attendance at the ceremonies—with 
just over a million other people, bowed our heads, but kept one eye open, just in 
case?

9.   Baffled as to how the late Teena Marie is releasing an album, but we’ve been waiting a “minute” for Anita Baker to drop her latest project?

10.  By a show of hands, who is digging the diversified funkiness of the, “DJango”  
        soundtrack?

11.  How many of us think somebody—and not Samuel Jackson, either, needs to snatch Quentin Tarantino up by the collar, thump him in the throat and inform him that he although he has permission to use it in his scripts, he cannot say, speak, mutter, hum or even sign language the N word—ever?

12.  By a show of hands, how many of us think it was über cool that on deck at the  
       Inauguration, sitting damn near front row, shaking hands with politicians and receiving much applause was a kid from the projects named Shawn Carter?

13. Surprised, disappointed, disgusted or just don’t give a damn that Lupe Fiasco was booed and yanked off the stage at an Unofficial Inaugural Ball for talking shit about POTUS?

14.  Wondering where Lupe’s fire and passion against the Commander In Chief was when President Bush was in office?

15.  Happy as hell, disappointed or just don’t give a damn that Shawty Lo’s reality show, “All My Babies Mamas,” was cancelled before it even aired?

16. By a show of hands, how many of think Shawty Lo will use the show’s cancellation as an excuse when dragged before a judge for lack of child support payments?

17.  How many of us never heard of Shawty Lo and for a second thought he might be one of your friends, co-workers or relatives who has the same trifling moves?

18. Surprised and happy that our friendly weatherman, and all around nice guy, Al Roker got a handshake from Vice-President Biden, then threw his mic on the ground and walked the hell off?

19. How many of us are glad rapper Eve has decided to step up to work with our youth by partnering with Big Brothers & Big Sisters?

20. How many of know it to be true beyond of a shadow of a doubt, but are afraid to say the following phrase, “The internet killed radio?”

25 October 2012

RUN LONG
(Or, "Who's Got The Pepper?)

At 43.7 years of age, many, “old folk” clichés run through my mind on the regular. Pathetically, I find myself involuntarily repeating several of them aloud to younger people—to their dismay and mine. “You’ll understand when you get older.” “If I had to do it all over again…” “Work smart, not hard.”

The one plaguing me of late is, “you never miss your water…”

Twenty-five years ago, I had no problem coughing up 30 push-ups before starting to struggle. Today, 7 is an issue. My senior year in high school, I could do 69 sit-ups in a minute and boastfully possessed a washboard stomach. Now, I have a spare tire that has become a permanent part of my axle system. At 18, I enlisted in the Army weighing a lean 120 lbs. with massive amounts of energy to spare. Admittedly, I hated running; still, I made the best of it.  Without much effort, I usually earned a near perfect score in the Run category on my semi-annual fitness test. Now, it takes everything in me to pass that event; everything and then some!

So, as I watched an old episode of, “The Cosby Show” last week, it dawned on me that I am now extremely close to Cliff and Clair’s age. Damn. Cliff’s nightmares caused by the late night sausage sandwiches (after Clair warned him what would happen!) are now my nightmares after I have had my favorite meal of mac & cheese, yams, turkey meatloaf and corn after 10 p.m. Double damn.

In, “Back To The Track, Jack,” Cliff’s former college track rival challenges him to a relay rematch to settle an old score from back in the day. Struggling to prepare for the race, the good Dr. Huxtable laments regarding not being in the same shape as the rest of the other participants. Can’t exactly recall what I thought of Cliff’s dilemma when I first saw the show back in ‘85; old age settling in, I guess…

But more than I want to, I can now relate to his challenges in that episode. Your body simply refusing to do what it used to “do” is a hard pill to swallow, especially when you are in a physically demanding field. Although a part time Soldier, I have to keep step with everyone else. And while the military tests each member’s physical abilities based on their age group, I cannot help but recall my first active duty enlistment. My friends and I mercilessly teased older Soldiers who were close enough in rank and cool enough not to check us for insubordination. Ah, what a difference two decades and a break in service makes—alas, I am now the old Soldier!

Most of my fellow Reservists do not believe I am over 40; occasionally, someone asks to see my driver’s license. They are even more shocked that my old ass can keep up and sometimes I have the nerve to conduct running cadence. I take it all as a compliment. Said kudos eases my soul as I apply generous amounts of Icy Hot post-Reserve duty weekends.

Moreover, I remember the catchy motivational query and reply phrase used frequently in this Cosby episode.

Question: You got the pepper?
Response: I got the pepper!

Not sure exactly what exactly this question and its answer means, but it seemed to inspire Cliff.

The kudos and quote aside, I still cannot help but feel a sense of, “…chickens coming home to roost.” A, “what goes around, comes around,” aura. What did I “do” to deserve to get, “old?” What happened to the chick who won a few medals in high school, had the round ass and wore a size 8? Sadly, she has been replaced by this pathetic elderly woman who huffs and puffs on her weekly jogs, wishing, hoping that she, “had the pepper.”

P.S. to all the young people who I am always smothering with my years and years of knowledge, I have one last sentence of advice and it’s not a cliché, either. You listening? Come closer; here it is: don’t get old!
 

23 October 2012

WHAT MATTERS
(Or Why I Did Not Watch The Debates)



“Knowledge is power.”

~ Francis Bacon

“Tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.”
~ Malcolm X

Voting in the United States, almost like any other country in the world, is serious business. Democracy and the right to select leadership are part of the ideals this country was built upon. It is the very essence of our foundation and should not be taken lightly.

So while the Presidential debates are supposed to help people decide who to vote for, I find them a waste of time. With our advanced resources, why do we have such a hard time selecting a leader? If folks would simply listen, read a bit, and just pay attention, they could decide without spending 360 minutes of their time (4 debates) watching 4 grown men argue as if they were on a playground. And by the way, that’s 6 hours. That’s almost a whole day’s work, glued to a television, radio, computer (livestream), etc.; and it’s time one can never get back. Besides, can 90 minutes, really tell you what you need to know about a person and their qualifications to run one of the most powerful nations on Earth?

What I also find unsettling, is how Americans love putting all their business in the street. It is beyond ridiculous. The rest of the world probably figures the average American to be greedy, wasteful, overzealous, and arrogant. Proof positive is in our reality shows, sports worship (guilty, I am), senseless violence, and the 3-ring circus masquerading as the electoral process. Add the debate posturing, jesting, facial expressions, indignant-remarks-triggered scoffs, and other semi-buffoonery and the United States looks ignorant.

Moreover, why do we vote for someone and then tear them down when they cannot fix their inherited mess overnight? Surely, we understand we are electing a human who has to decide which problems to take on first; we are not hiring a magician for “entertainment purposes only.”

Furthermore, is it smart to share so much of our military strategies and foreign policies during the debates? It is one thing to say to another country, “We know that you don’t like us; and we want you to know that we know you don’t like us…!” Yet quite another to say, “If I’m elected, I’m going to bust a cap in that country’s ass!”  As a member of our military, I very much want to be informed of my boss’ thoughts. However, I do not think the rest of the world needs to know. But that’s just me.

With all the pomp and circumstance of the DNC, RNC and the debates, the question burning in my soul was, “who is campaigning for the misfortunate, the downtrodden, or those who cannot speak for themselves?” Because at the end of the day, the following issues still prevail:

1.      Rampant bullying, obesity, dysfunction and bloodshed amongst our young people, specifically, in Chicago.
2.      Children who cannot read or write on their grade level. Bottom line, our education system stinks!
3.      Homeless and hungry Americans, most of them Veterans of our Armed Forces. We probably could have fed 10,000 families for a year with the money spent for both the DNC and RNC.
4.      Military personnel are still dying in Afghanistan and Iraq.
5.      No cure for cancer.

Americans get so caught up in the process that they forget what actually matters. We also fail to recall that after the laws of the land prevail, we must support the winner. Added to that, we must take ownership as citizens of our nation. Volunteer, mentor, and stop waiting for someone else to step up if you are able to do something to make this land a better land (cue the Pointers Sisters, “Yes We Can Can”).

And yes, I do hope my guy wins. He’s faced a lot of adversities, involuntarily became very unpopular via his tough choices, and shown great courage. He remains a gentleman who has had to bite his tongue numerous times when the average person would have said, “Your Mama,” followed by, “Boys, handle my light work!”

What exactly, did I do instead of watching the debates? Spent about 2.5 hours in the gym (collectively), started a new Pearl Cleage book, messed around on Facebook a bit, wrote and checked out 2 movies I’d been itching to watch…

…and yes, I have a ways to go before I truly understand, “what matters,” too.