STICK AND STAY

(Or the Highs and Lows of Driving A Manual Vehicle)

While weaving through DMV traffic yesterday evening, I realized I absolutely love that I know to drive a manual vehicle. It’s the little things like this that make life seem a bit more, “grand.” Not a superior skill, but one nonetheless, that I am proud of.  

And although I am glad I acquired said skill before I turned 21, there are both ups and downs to driving a stick…

PROS

1. Very few requests from friends to borrow the whip.  Keeping it real—this is, in fact, the official Number One reason people buy sticks instead of automatics. We just never say it out loud.

2. For whatever reason, manual vehicles are cheaper than automatics (standards). Don’t hate the game…

3. In the right setting, such as City Traffic with stop lights and stop signs, you can put tailgaters in check. Simply wait for an uphill slant. When taking off, “accidentally,” roll back, get close enough to touch said tailgater, but avoid a collision (barely).  And yes, I do that to everyone, including cops. My feeling is, if we are not dating, stay off my ass!

4. A woman who can stick, is considered, well, versatile…so I’ve heard!

Seriously, though, I might have been on the medium bus, as it were (that means I am a tad slow and thick in the head), and I cannot dance as well as Janet Jackson (damn her!). But I can get behind the wheel of any manual vehicle and shift gears gracefully and expeditiously.

5. Peeling away from an ex-boyfriend’s place post-argument looks and sounds so much cooler in a manual vehicle.

CONS

1. Maneuvering through chronic Stop & Go Traffic cities like, L.A., DC, NYC, Atlanta and some parts of Europe (including Germany) can drive one batty.

2. Driving a stick and trying to eat—not a good look. Stuff like ice cream, even a cone, is no fun at all.

3. Um, it is not a good look when one has an, “off moment,” and grinds gears because of hasty shifting—so I’ve heard…

4. er’ once in a while, especially when first learning to drive a stick, one will happen upon a hill that tests true balance and the ability to shift without panicking.

5. If one gets hurt or incapacitated and needs someone to drive your vehicle for you, the choices are infinitely limited…

6. One of these days, I will be too old to drive, let alone, “stick…”

...BLESS THE CHILD WHO HAS A PARENT THAT GIVES A DAMN!

Full disclosure: I was whipped as a child—didn’t like it much, but I’m not mad at all. And yes, I whipped my two children, too; both are now college students. I’m sure they didn’t like it, either.

So why, pray tell, am I defending a man who did the same to his children, but got, “extra” with a whipping and is now looking at jail time? Because, dammit, I understand; I say again, “I understand.”

No, being a parent does not give you the power, authority or right to brutalize, bully or torture your children; does not.  But being a parent means you have a responsibility to protect your children by any damn means necessary.

Greg Horn’s two daughters disobeyed him. He decided to make them more afraid of him, than of the danger he was trying to keep them from. Hence, he resorted to whipping them. (Note: it is unclear whether the girls were, in fact, Twerking or they went out without permission).

There are bad people in this society—pimps, drug dealers, human traffickers, gangs, boogie men that go, “bump in the night,” and predators of the very twisted kind. And they are just waiting for children who do not listen to their parents and cross the proverbial line that has been set forth. Horn, did what he thought he had to do, to keep his daughters from harm—direct, indirect, as it were.

Regrettably, in his overzealous attempt to protect them, he actually hurt them. That is unfortunate. However, I support a parent—any parent, who opts to keep their children in line instead of trying to be their friend. In these bizarre times where kids are competing to show who is the, “biggest and the baddest,” on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, etc., parents must be vigilant, firm and show no fear. Sure, not every kid today will want to run for political office in 20 years. But soon, acquiring a job at Mickie D’s is going to be a challenge once Ronald McDonald starts to Google every applicant that walks through the door to see what kind of smut they posted on the world wide web, “back in the day (mark my words—it’s coming!).”

I have a friend who contends that Horn’s actions are just an example of a man trying to control a woman’s body. Furthermore, said friend implies that Horn is ignoring the fact his daughters are in fact, sexually active. Hmm…

Maybe, just maybe this man’s head is buried in the sand about the sex lives of his daughters, who are already, “doing grown up things.” Maybe this public, humiliating whipping will push these girls further away from their father and they will indeed follow a road of degrading, self-deprecating, dangerous and deadly sexual acts; maybe…

But what if this is the teaching moment the Horn family needs? Perhaps this is what pushes Greg Horn to sit his daughters down and say, “You may be having sexual feelings and urges; and that’s normal. But you must be responsible with your bodies. Do not let any man take advantage of you, disrespect your body or make you feel less than the beautiful women that you are.” 

Then to let them know how much he really cares, he should add, “And the man who treats you ‘ill’ will answer to me.” Powerful shit, right there, since they know their father can whip some ass!

Furthermore, Mr. Horn can be an example to other parents of how, “keeping it real with, ‘Old School’ punishment,” can go horribly wrong. In my opinion, his punishment should be to explain to other parents who are also struggling with their teenagers how he might have handled this differently.

I have one last suggestion to Greg Horn, and all parents. Always keep the phone numbers of Big Mama, Uncle James, a few “true-blue-and-tight-like-glue” best friends, etc. on speed dial. This is so that when the children, “test” you, there is another responsible adult who can help you to, “pull up,” “pull back,” and calm the hell down, as it were.

In a society where absentee fathers are the norm, I trust and pray the Horn sisters are grateful that they have a father who is present, and more importantly, one that actually gives a damn.