AHA MOMENT # 29
When down and out…
…always reach out.
~ Sonia Clark
For the past 27 months, like a lot of Americans, I have been under- or un- employed. The last few months that have been the toughest though. It started back in February. I was closing in on a 6 mo. housing situation that in itself ain’t bad at all; some would say it’s ideal. Howsoever, when your ego is used to things “a certain way,” even a minor miscommunication feels like Mt. Rushmore. Add the frustration of isolation (my close friends live out of state), constant lack of funds, multiple deaths in the family including my Dad, and a minor health revelation to the mix and it’s a bad thing. A very bad thing. (BTW: I’m in good shape, but must continue to work out regularly and STILL desperately need to cut sugar from my diet completely).
A month ago, I began asking for help from some friends, mainly fellow college alum and folks from the block back in Brooklyn. They’ve been a wealth of support and offered priceless information. No, they didn’t solve all my problems or find a job for me. Yet their advice, added to the leads I already had, and my plans to return to the military as a reservist, greatly broadened my prospects. And it is simply because I finally shared my desires and asked questions. It has been nothing short of amazing.
Yesterday, however, I started to kick myself for waiting so long to seriously, earnestly ask for help. “What took you so long?” I ask myself aloud. I was driving home after meeting members of my new Army Reserve unit. “Damn,” I say, shaking my head, realizing that months of being ashamed and embarrassed to ask for help, equates to precious time wasted. And time, is irreplaceable.
This pity part of sorts, trying to do things “on my own,” is a natural human reaction. When “wounded” or feeling helpless, we either lash out or go into recluse. We hide or take swipes at people who are merely trying to help. National Geographic or Discovery channel shows often tell of injured animals that do any and everything to keep people (or other animals) away. Why? They know they are vulnerable and can easily be further harmed or even killed. All the animal knows is to protect themselves at all costs. Big mistake, but when you are hurting, protection at any cost appears to be the usual instinct.
As I was running a few days ago, G.C. Cameron’s, “So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” came on my MP3 player (the “original,” y’all). I thought about the final scene of Cooley High, with Preach at Cochise’s grave. Preach had ditched the funeral and was running away from home—to Hollywood, to pursue a writing career. Even before the death of his best friend, a dude he called brother, Preach was already hurting. Earlier in the film, his teacher (played by Garrett Morris) saw Preach wasting his life. So he asks the quick-witted, extremely intelligent pupil, what, exactly he wants out of life. Without hesitation, Preach answers, “I want to live forever.” Because immortality is impossible, this answer was about spitting back at life. For whatever reasons—fear probably being one of them, Preach feels his dreams were simply not possible. So the fact that he thought he could not accomplish his dreams hurt Preach. And now, with Cochise dead, he is really hurting.
However, Preach pulls himself together and declares to Cochise’s coffin, that he is “gonna make it...” With that, he turns, backpack on his shoulder, and begins to run, setting off on his quest to become a screenwriter. Cue The Four Tops, “I’ll Be There/Reach Out.” This cut is actually a love song between a man and a woman. But I have made it my anthem. I’m gonna reach out. Stop being too proud to say, “I need a little help with…,” “Really want to get my book published, yet not sure how to…” Or, “I’ve been trying to get a gig at --- yet I’m not getting a response on the phone or via email. You know anybody there…?” And I hope that when someone feels I can help, or at least point them in the right direction, they will reach out to me as well.
Axe.
Currently Reading: Why We Make Movies (Black Filmmakers Talk About the Magic of Cinema) by George Alexander
Currently Listening To: Various Army Cadence (I say, “Ho’ah!”)
When down and out…
…always reach out.
~ Sonia Clark
For the past 27 months, like a lot of Americans, I have been under- or un- employed. The last few months that have been the toughest though. It started back in February. I was closing in on a 6 mo. housing situation that in itself ain’t bad at all; some would say it’s ideal. Howsoever, when your ego is used to things “a certain way,” even a minor miscommunication feels like Mt. Rushmore. Add the frustration of isolation (my close friends live out of state), constant lack of funds, multiple deaths in the family including my Dad, and a minor health revelation to the mix and it’s a bad thing. A very bad thing. (BTW: I’m in good shape, but must continue to work out regularly and STILL desperately need to cut sugar from my diet completely).
A month ago, I began asking for help from some friends, mainly fellow college alum and folks from the block back in Brooklyn. They’ve been a wealth of support and offered priceless information. No, they didn’t solve all my problems or find a job for me. Yet their advice, added to the leads I already had, and my plans to return to the military as a reservist, greatly broadened my prospects. And it is simply because I finally shared my desires and asked questions. It has been nothing short of amazing.
Yesterday, however, I started to kick myself for waiting so long to seriously, earnestly ask for help. “What took you so long?” I ask myself aloud. I was driving home after meeting members of my new Army Reserve unit. “Damn,” I say, shaking my head, realizing that months of being ashamed and embarrassed to ask for help, equates to precious time wasted. And time, is irreplaceable.
This pity part of sorts, trying to do things “on my own,” is a natural human reaction. When “wounded” or feeling helpless, we either lash out or go into recluse. We hide or take swipes at people who are merely trying to help. National Geographic or Discovery channel shows often tell of injured animals that do any and everything to keep people (or other animals) away. Why? They know they are vulnerable and can easily be further harmed or even killed. All the animal knows is to protect themselves at all costs. Big mistake, but when you are hurting, protection at any cost appears to be the usual instinct.
As I was running a few days ago, G.C. Cameron’s, “So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” came on my MP3 player (the “original,” y’all). I thought about the final scene of Cooley High, with Preach at Cochise’s grave. Preach had ditched the funeral and was running away from home—to Hollywood, to pursue a writing career. Even before the death of his best friend, a dude he called brother, Preach was already hurting. Earlier in the film, his teacher (played by Garrett Morris) saw Preach wasting his life. So he asks the quick-witted, extremely intelligent pupil, what, exactly he wants out of life. Without hesitation, Preach answers, “I want to live forever.” Because immortality is impossible, this answer was about spitting back at life. For whatever reasons—fear probably being one of them, Preach feels his dreams were simply not possible. So the fact that he thought he could not accomplish his dreams hurt Preach. And now, with Cochise dead, he is really hurting.
However, Preach pulls himself together and declares to Cochise’s coffin, that he is “gonna make it...” With that, he turns, backpack on his shoulder, and begins to run, setting off on his quest to become a screenwriter. Cue The Four Tops, “I’ll Be There/Reach Out.” This cut is actually a love song between a man and a woman. But I have made it my anthem. I’m gonna reach out. Stop being too proud to say, “I need a little help with…,” “Really want to get my book published, yet not sure how to…” Or, “I’ve been trying to get a gig at --- yet I’m not getting a response on the phone or via email. You know anybody there…?” And I hope that when someone feels I can help, or at least point them in the right direction, they will reach out to me as well.
Axe.
Currently Reading: Why We Make Movies (Black Filmmakers Talk About the Magic of Cinema) by George Alexander
Currently Listening To: Various Army Cadence (I say, “Ho’ah!”)
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