GREENER GRASS AND KINDRED SPIRITS

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
~ actor Yul Brynner

When we look at our negatives, we always think that the person with the positives has it so much better. Today I realized it is not about better. It’s simply not. When I came across the Yul Brynner quote on someone’s FaceBook page, it gave me cause to pause. And it was a long pause, y’all. See, I went on my morning jog and pondered why Yul would say such a thing. He seemed like such an intelligent guy when he was alive; seemed being the key word. Maybe this shit was taken out of context. Maybe.

But then I thought about comedienne Mo’Nique. For a long time, I did not like her—at all. Oh, I gave her props for being funny and all, but she wrote two books, “Skinny Women Are Evil: Notes of a Big Girl in a Small Minded World,” and “Skinny Cooks Can’t Be Trusted.” WTH?

This hurt my feelings especially since I have in fact struggled with weight issues at least three in my life; twice even, while I was in the Army. Why was she perpetrating all this hate on women who happened to be thin (whether they had to work for it or it was simple DNA?). What, exactly, had we done? Truth be told, I am jealous of plus-sized women. Except for two times in my life, I have always been flat-chested. And without surgery, that will not change—not gonna happen; well, maybe… Anyway, all of the full sized women I know have it together—confident, no-nonsense, and handling their business. True, I often see men overlook them, and I feel their hurt because, hey, guess what? I am not winning beauty contests, my damn self. So with regards to myself and the rest of the plain women versus plus-sized ladies, in the words of Andre 3000 (“Elevators”), “…we like neck to neck.”

The other reason Mo’Nique got no love or respect from me, was her sitcom, “The Parkers.” To me it was the dumbest show on the planet that degraded Black women everywhere, even in Africa! It was supposed to be about a sister going back to college with her daughter, the challenges they faced, etc. All I saw was a together black woman voluntarily living a stereotypical life—speaking Ebonics, frequently behaving ignorant, and chasing after a man who did not want her at all. Plus, the dozen or so times I happened to watch, I never saw them inside of a classroom. The plot from week-to-week was some re-hashed “Laverne & Shirley” or “I Love Lucy” bullshit.

Yet we all know what happened—Mo’Nique used that as a stepping stone.




And I have watched her career. I loved her in “Domino (though I have fallen asleep on it twice).” Then I recognized that she was spreading her wings a little bit in “Two Can Play At That Game” and “Baby Boy.” Have to pause here and share that I recently read Mo’Nique says the most valuable advice she ever received was from Jamie Foxx who told her, “Never let them tell you what you cannot do (say what?).” Not sure when, exactly he told her this, but we all know that Ms. Thing rocked the house in “Precious” as the mother even the Devil wouldn’t want—Mary Jones. Furthermore, this role earned her mad awards, including, an Oscar. First time out in a major role, first time win. Lotta people said she was a long shot, but I was pulling for her and not surprised when then called her name.

Today was the first time in forever that I thought about her comments regarding skinny women. Not sure how she feels now because she has dropped a massive amount of weight. Nevertheless, I don’t think that Mo’Nique had it in for us thin ladies or was intentionally out to make us feel “less than.” She was merely highlighting the differences amongst us, obviously being “pro-Big Girl.” And like most comedians say, “It’s just jokes...” Furthermore, I do not think Mo’ was playing dumb on “The Parkers.” Shit, it’s a man’s world—plain and simple. And often in order to get what you want, you have to speak a man’s language…

Axe.

Don’t usually do this, but since I am neither specifically reading nor listening to anything at the moment, I’d like to dedicate this entry to the following women:

K. Redd (you got the Sunday paper?), S. Thompson-Johnson (NYPD Blue, if no one else does, I appreciate you!), M. Massey-Jones (I’m taking your spot in the alumni band), J. Hoffman (are your ears tired, yet?), J. Canty (ditto), T. C. Lagon (ditto, ditto), K. M. B. (is BKLYN--not that other borough, in the house? Just kidding. Thank you.) and my daughter—my baby (but my oldest), B. L. M., a.k.a. “Headley” (Mom loves you, sweetheart!)

PS I actually am listening to a Robin Harris clip on TJMS. Man, I miss that dude. He and Bernie Mac—both gone too soon. RIP gentlemen.